my pitiful primary school's life

i seldom tell this story of mine to my friends. it's a nightmare when i was 7. i think by writing it out can help me to grab some braveness and face it. it's in my life. it's with me.

when i was 7. i was studied in a small classroom with 30++ students. my 1st year in primary school. it should be a memorable year. white uniform, short black pants, white stockings, white shoes and a God Damn heavy school bag. the year which a child, Xiao Song Sheng  (小松升）is kidnapped and disappear. Now, we still don't know where he is. MY STORY totally didn't relate with him. i just use it as my story's beginning.

I remember, one day, my class teacher gave a quite low marks on my homework and same as my friend who just sit next to me. i was so upset. i did my best to complete the homework and this is what i can get? then, my friend ( i name him as A) and i were complaining the teacher being unfair. suddenly, i got a silly idea. i said why not we write "teacher eats shit" （老师吃大便）in the textbook? she deserves for shit. A was totally agreed with my idea. then, we kept on laughing for this silly idea.

At the end, i didn't do it. under deep inside my heart, i still know what is "respect". i still respect my teacher although i'm not satisfy with the marks. who will know this will becomes my nightmare in my primary school's life?

i forget the reason and someday i had a quarrel with A. A was kind of angry and he threaten me. he said if i didn't follow what he says, he will tell the teacher and the classmates that i wrote "teacher eat shit" in my textbook. OF COURSE, i have no fear. i didn't do it and what can scare me? i replied him " just do what ever you want to do"  i continue with the never-even-can-be-finish homeworks. 

after 5 mins, the teacher, A and his friends came to my table. teacher asked me angrily why i do this? (the words: teacher eats shit). surely, i defected for myself. i told them that i didn't do it. BUT they don't believe me. A turned to a good student. he claimed he is the good one and i am the bad one. he likes teacher and he is so brave to tell the truth. i also told the teacher about A when we were complaining. i was just joking at that time. i took out the textbook and asked them to check. I AM NOT GUILTY!!!

a girl, friend of A, she said that i can destroy the evidences. after i wrote the words, i can erase it. She took over my textbook and write a few simple words lightly and erased it till not stains at all. she did this in front of  everyone. she wants me to admit that i am guilty BUT I"M NOT! everyone was looking at me, teacher was angry, most of the classmates think that i did it, no one comes to help me or say somethings for me. my nerves broke down and i lost my control. I CRIED, I YELLING to everyone i didn't do it and i am not guilty. the girl crossed her hands in front her chest, watching me crying. A continued pretending that he is the good boy. classmates were watching a drama. teacher get annoyed and ignored me.

i cried for 3 hours, even in the rest time, everyone left me alone in the class. no one talks with me. i had no friends. do you know how hurt is it to a 7 years old boy??? you have no idea!

from that moment, i not easy to trust people. if i treat you like my brother, if i told you that you are my BEST FRIEND face-to-face, you got my believe more than 100%. PLEASE DO APPRECIATE IT... once you lost it, you never get it back....

THINGS DO NOT KILL YOU MAKE YOU STRONGER